Divorce is undoubtedly a difficult experience. For many, the prospect of having to appear in court only adds to the anxiety. Whether you’ve had an unpleasant experience in court before or have had no exposure and simply don’t know what to expect, courtroom anxiety is completely normal.  

Here are four tips on how to deal with anxiety before you head into court. 

Find the Team for You: 

You and your family are unique, and your attorney should reflect your individual needs. Having an experienced and supportive team to lean on is a crucial aspect of surviving, and thriving, during a divorce. Knowing that your attorney has your back will help ease some of the natural anxiety you’ll likely experience before you head to court.   

Ask About the Process: 

Often in stressful situations, simply knowing what to expect eases some of the anxiety – court is no exception. In most cases you will not have to speak in court, and in some cases, you will not even be in a traditional courtroom, but instead in the judge’s chambers. Each situation is unique, so do yourself a favor and ask your attorney about what to expect beforehand. 

In addition to learning about the process, it is also important to prepare with your attorney. Be sure you’ve provided your attorney with all of the relevant information about your case in a clear and organized manner. This will help your attorney make clear and concise arguments on your behalf and will also cut down on your cost. You’ll also want to ask your counsel about the objectives of the appearance. Understanding the objectives will give you clear, realistic expectations and a sense of confidence going in.  

Knowing what to expect also includes knowing how to present yourself in court. Make sure you dress appropriately and present yourself in a respectable manner. Clean, pressed clothes are important. For men, a jacket and tie go a long way, and for women conservative dress is preferred. These norms may not be mainstream, but everyone in the courtroom is and should be held to a higher standard.

Institute Coping Skills: 

The same anxiety reducing techniques that help in day-to-day life can absolutely be applied successfully in the courtroom. Meditation, journaling, and exercise are all useful tools to prepare for and take your mind off of stressful court appearances. In severe cases it may also be necessary to consult a licensed therapist or a qualified divorce coach for additional support. 

It is also important to remember that this is temporary. While the process is undoubtedly stressful, it will not be like this forever and you will ultimately get through this struggle and be off to better things. 

Mediation:

Mediation is an alternative to the traditional court procedure during divorce. In mediation both partners work together with a neutral mediator–avoiding the courtroom altogether while keeping control of the process in the hands of yourself and your partner. Mediators do not make decisions or offer legal advice, but rather work as facilitators to help couples work out a plan for what’s best for themselves and their families. Once an agreement is reached, the mediator will draft a divorce settlement agreement. 

Although you can’t control the outcome when you go to court, you can control how you prepare for and respond to your situation. Educating yourself on the process and utilizing common coping techniques will help to ease tension surrounding court appearances. 


At Artese Zandri, we help couples prepare for marriage and navigate divorce. If you or someone you know has questions about family law, reach out to us for a complimentary consultation at consultation@artesezandri.com.

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