Divorce Mediation and Leveling the Imbalance of Power

When a couple decides to separate or divorce, often there is an imbalance of power between them. The power, in many instances, is less about either party’s financial position, or whether one of them is the “better parent.” Rather, the imbalance comes from how the parties communicate, and whether each of them can adequately advocate for themselves when in conflict. Unfortunately, in more cases than not, this imbalance of power is present during the marriage and can be a significant factor contributing to the breakdown of the relationship. 

Correcting the Imbalance

Divorce mediation is a method for leveling the imbalance of power without becoming adversarial. The mediator, acting as a neutral, moderates the conversation so that (sometimes for the first time in a long while) each person is given an opportunity to be heard. It is the understanding of the other’s perspective that opens up the gates to finding solutions where they were previously hidden. 

Another imbalance of power that is leveled by mediation is the transfer of ownership over the process and the outcome from the judge to the parties. The parties control the tempo and the mediator does not make any decisions for the parties. A well-mediated divorce will leave the couple feeling empowered by the decisions that were made because they were made by mutual agreement. In many cases, a powerful mediation process can lead to a breakthrough in the couple’s ability to problem-solve together.

By contrast, in an adversarial setting, the imbalance of power can often appear amplified. The reason is that, by its very nature, the adversarial process encourages parties to “dig in their heels” on hot-button issues, to paint their spouse in the worst possible light to gain the judge’s favor, and all autonomy over the decisions being made is stripped from the individuals themselves who will have to live with those decisions. 

The Benefits of Mediation Have Many Returns

The obvious benefit of mediation is that it is often a more cost-effective approach to litigation. Legal fees come down, and hopefully, the process ends faster than it would if it went through the courts. Some contested divorces can take many years to get resolved through the court system. Mediation, when well structured, can often conclude in a negotiated agreement in less than a year and in many cases, in six months or less.

The less obvious benefit of mediation is the transformative process that can occur when the parties engage in meaningful communication. This is especially important when minor children are involved and the parents will have to continue to work together to raise their kids. Children of divorce do best when their parents can demonstrate their ability and willingness to work together as a team in support of what’s best for their children. 

The team at Artese Zandri provides divorce mediation services, consulting attorney services for parties in mediation elsewhere, and divorce litigation services. Let us know how we can help you decide the path that is right for you.