Diamonds and Divorce - What Happens to the Ring?

They say diamonds are forever… but not all relationships are. In July, Jennifer Lopez’s six engagement rings became a hot topic in the news. Articles, memes, and social media posts went viral, comparing size, color, cut, and more. Some of the rings were from canceled engagements (Ben Affleck part one; A-Rod), and others were for legal marriages that ended in divorce.This rundown begs the question: what did she do with all her rings? What are the laws and etiquette around diamonds from relationships past? 

Generally speaking, there’s an obligation to give the ring back if you got engaged but the marriage never happened, and it’s ok to keep it after you’ve legally wed. But, there are exceptions and deeper considerations to this rule. 

State laws: State laws around engagement rings vary. Some states consider an engagement ring a conditional gift - meaning one of the parties can be at fault if the relationship ends. Other states are no-fault states, and consider an engagement ring to be an unconditional gift. For example, Massachusetts is a “fault” state, and whoever calls off the wedding forfeits the right to the ring, even if they were the purchaser/giver. In New York (and in most states), a broken engagement is considered a “no fault” scenario and the ring should be returned to or kept by the person who purchased it. This changes after a legal wedding. An engagement ring is then considered a pre-marriage gift and premarital separate property of the recipient, and they are no longer obligated to give it back. 

Non-monetary value: Heirloom rings from relatives carry value beyond their monetary worth. If one party provides their future spouse with a ring passed down through family generations, they will certainly want it back if the engagement or marriage dissolves. It’s common courtesy to return a ring with sentimental value to the person or family it came from. Still, laws don’t provide additional protection for heirloom rings vs newly-purchased rings. The best way to protect a family heirloom is through a prenuptial agreement. 

Etiquette: There are laws, and there are personal agreements. Couples who split amicably after a long marriage may agree to sell their rings and split the proceeds. Couples with children may agree to stop wearing the rings and leave them to their kids in their wills. In worst case scenarios, couples may use a ring to spite their former partner in a contentious break-up or divorce. Etiquette plays a role in decisions regarding distribution of assets, including rings. Still, it’s important to consider the legalities surrounding your rings, and where you may be vulnerable without a legal agreement in place. 

As a family law practice, we’ve seen all kinds of break-ups and divorces, and know that every relationship is different. We also understand that decisions around rings can carry a lot of emotion. Our goal is to provide every client with a combination of legal expertise and personal compassion. 

At Artese Zandri, we help clients understand their rights regarding distribution of assets during divorce, including rings. Feel free to contact us at consultations@artesezandri.com to discuss your own situation.