How To Effectively Defend Against False Allegations in A Custody Dispute
Divorce and child custody battles are incredibly contentious. This environment is a breeding ground for bad behavior and can too often involve one parent making false allegations of serious abuse against the other. Allegations can range, but they usually involve one or some combination of the following: alcohol or other substance abuse; physical, verbal and emotional abuse or worse, sexual abuse. When false allegations are credibly refuted, the outcome can backfire and be a fait accompli for the custody rights of the accusatory spouse.
Effectively dealing with false allegations is difficult and can be painful. The knee jerk reactions are not only to deny, but to become defensive and often retaliatory. It is incredibly challenging to avoid being reactionary, and it can be even more challenging to follow the advice of your attorney when the advice does not satisfy your need for immediate and firm justice. Defending against false allegations requires experience and foresight, two things that most couples in divorce proceedings are without.
Here are four insider tips on how to effectively deal with false allegations in a custody dispute:
1) Do Not Retaliate
Do not meet bad behavior with bad behavior. When you do, you lose credibility before the court, and lose all thrust behind any counterargument you may have had in response to your accuser’s bad acts. The courts are looking for the parent whom they can trust to act maturely and appropriately, and the parent who can put their child’s best interests before their own pain and suffering. When parents retaliate against each other or are easily provoked by one another, judges get concerned that perhaps neither parent can be trusted.
2) Get in Front of a Judge
Making false allegations against the parent of your child is the type of behavior that cannot be negotiated with. It is critical to send a message right away and be heard in front of a judge. Depending on the severity of the false allegations, a judge may hear your case on an emergency basis. If not, it could take weeks to get in front of a judge, so you will need to understand how to best make that happen from a legal standpoint and what to do in the meantime.
3) Engage Neutrals Right Away
The involvement of a neutral cannot happen soon enough after an allegation of abuse is made.
In cases where alcohol abuse allegations are made, proactively employing a monitor such as Soberlink, a portable breathalyzer, can be aneffective way to prove sobriety and definitively shut down false allegations.
When any type of abuse against the child(ren) is alleged, it is important to request from the Court immediately that an AFC (Attorney for the Child) be appointed and to engage a forensic psychiatrist for the purposes of determining custody. AFC’s specialize in representing children during custody disputes and ensure that the children’s voices and interests are represented. A forensic psychiatrist will evaluate both parents for their relative abilities and fitness for parenting, and will even make a recommendation as to custody for the Court to consider.
If harassment allegations are alleged, or other communication issues arise, employing the use of a parenting coordinator can be incredibly beneficial. Parenting coordinators are often used in high conflict cases to diffuse tension and assist in creating and implementing a parenting plan. Having a neutral, third party to assist in dispute resolution will lower tensions and encourage parental accountability.
4) Play the Long Game.
Understand that while allegations may have a short-term impact on your access to your child, handling them correctly will favor your position over the long term. Primary custody is largely dependent upon the custodial parent demonstrating the ability to foster a relationship with the noncustodial parent. False allegations and other methods of alienation do not work well for the accusing parent over the long term, hence why it is important to refrain from retaliating and instead focus on the end goal.
Dealing with false allegations in a custody dispute can be draining and demoralizing. Nevertheless, it is important to keep in mind that these tactics often do not hold up in court. With effective counsel, it is possible to overcome allegations and use them to build a stronger case than before.
At Artese Zandri, we help couples prepare for marriage and navigate divorce. If you or someone you know has questions about family law, reach out to us for a complimentary consultation at consultation@artesezandri.com.