How to Get the Most Out of Your Attorney-Client Relationship
Divorce is often an individual’s first experience dealing with attorneys and the legal system. The process of finding and trusting your lawyer can be daunting, and not knowing where to start or how to approach it can lead to expensive mistakes. You may not always get to learn everything about your lawyer before hiring, but we have found there are certain things you can do to ensure that you are getting the most out of your attorney-client relationship.
Find an Attorney Who Fits
The first step towards a positive outcome is finding an attorney who aligns with your value system. In combative divorces, parties are often tempted to look for a “shark”, or an overly aggressive attorney. While this is tempting, an attorney that will take the most aggressive position can also be the one who is unlikely to know or tell you when your position is flawed.
By contrast, an attorney who does not have the requisite experience or demeanor to be tough when you need it can be a significant hindrance. Clients who have difficulty asserting themselves often need their lawyer to advocate on their behalf, and even teach them how to communicate effectively and enforce stronger boundaries. Sometimes, clients even need their lawyer to give them a little tough love when they lose sight of better judgment, which can often happen in divorce.
Take the time to ensure that your attorney’s values and goals align with your own. It is important to do this from the beginning, to avoid the frustration and angst of wondering if you have chosen the right team to protect and advocate for you once the rubber meets the road. Use the consultation to ask questions and evaluate whether the responses resonate with your value system. (Here’s a previous blog post on Questions to Ask a Potential Divorce Attorney).
Be Efficient in Your Communication
Your communications with your attorney are protected by the attorney-client privilege, and for good reason. Your attorney needs to know everything, and that means everything – even the details you think may not matter and especially the details that might embarrass you. How you deliver the information also matters.
To the extent possible, you want to ensure that all the information your attorney needs is kept in writing, clearly communicated and delivered in a logical order. For instance, texting your attorney one day, calling one the phone another and emailing to follow-up may seem thorough, but for your lawyer, it is disjointed. If you have questions, you should send them to your lawyer in a comprehensive list and if you need clarification, you should request a phone call. Remember, time is money and the less time your lawyer must spend culling information provided through multiple channels, the less it will cost you.
Trust and Let Go of the Wheel
Engaging in the legal system is stressful and can appeal to our most basic instincts to micromanage or lash out. Once you have completed your due diligence and found the right lawyer, you should be able to let go of the reins and allow your attorney to do what they do best. This will give you room to breathe and consider the best course of action when the time to make critical decisions in your matter arises. Remember, you want people on your side who are experienced and who understand your goals and priorities.
At Artese Zandri, we help couples prepare for marriage and navigate divorce. If you or someone you know has questions about family law, reach out to us for a complimentary consultation at consultation@artesezandri.com.