How to Prepare for Divorce: A Guide from a Family Law Partner in NYC

Divorce can be one of the most emotionally and financially challenging experiences of a person’s life. Whether you’ve already made the decision or are simply considering your options, preparing for divorce adequately can be the difference between a smooth versus a chaotic and unnerving experience. At Artese Zandri, we have guided countless clients through the divorce process and, while no two divorce cases are alike, there are key steps that anyone considering divorce can take to prepare for each of the issues that will arise. 

Understand Your Emotional Entanglement 

Divorce is a familiar friend of all the most challenging emotions – fear, anger, anxiety and shame, to name a few. In preparing for divorce, we practice disentangling those emotions from the strategic decisions that must be made. For example, anger with your partner should not influence decisions over custody. Moreover, revenge is not part of the formula when dividing assets. Understanding how those issues are resolved from a legal standpoint is important to be able to compartmentalize your emotions and develop a sound legal strategy.  

Know Your Financial Situation 

One of the most important steps in preparing for divorce is understanding your financial standing. Divorce involves a division of assets and liabilities, and New York State follows an "equitable distribution" model. This means that assets will be divided fairly, but not necessarily equally. The court considers various factors to determine what is "fair" in your case. 

Here are some financial steps to take: 

- Gather Financial Documents: Compile all relevant documents you can access, including tax returns, bank statements, credit card bills, mortgage statements, investment accounts, retirement plans, and business records if applicable. 

- Assess Your Assets and Debts: To the extent possible, make a list of all assets and debts you and your spouse own. You want to also be able to identify the current fair market value of all assets (and debts), the value on the date of marriage, and the source of funds used to purchase the asset. Knowing these details up-front will help you understand what you have to work with in terms of property division. 

- Understand Alimony and Child Support: If children are involved or if one spouse earns significantly more than the other, you’ll need to understand the possibility of spousal support (alimony) and child support obligations. An attorney can consult with you even before you are prepared to begin the divorce process, to give you an idea of the amounts of support you might be entitled to (or obligated to pay).  

Having a clear financial picture will not only help you make informed decisions but will also ensure that you don’t miss out on assets or overestimate your future financial obligations. 

Prepare for Custody and Parenting Plan Discussions

If you and your spouse have children, child custody and the development of a parenting plan will be central to your divorce. New York courts prioritize the best interests of the child, which often leads to joint custody arrangements, but every situation is unique. 

Start thinking about: 

- Parenting Time: How much time will each parent spend with the children, and what will visitation schedules look like? 

- Decision-Making: Will both parents have a say in important decisions regarding the children’s health, education, and welfare? How will disputes over those decisions get resolved? 

- Child Support: How will child support be calculated and who will pay it? New York has guidelines that determine child support amounts, but there can be exceptions depending on income and other factors. 

The earlier you begin thinking about these issues, the easier it will be to make decisions that prioritize your children's needs.    

Understand Mediation and Collaborative Alternatives 

Although divorce often leads to contentious litigation, it doesn't have to be that way. New York offers various alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation and collaborative divorce, which can allow you and your spouse to reach an agreement without going to court. 

Mediation involves a neutral third party who helps you and your spouse negotiate a fair settlement, while collaborative divorce involves each spouse hiring an attorney trained in collaborative law to help reach an agreement. These approaches can be less costly, faster, and less emotionally draining than traditional divorce litigation. 

If both you and your spouse are willing to work together in good faith, exploring these options can help you maintain a more amicable relationship and reduce the stress on your family. 

At Artese Zandri, we understand how overwhelming this process can be, but we’re here to help. If you’re considering divorce or just need legal advice, don’t hesitate to reach out for a consultation. We’ll help guide you every step of the way, ensuring that your interests are protected and that you can move forward with confidence.